I met a guy at my workplace; that I was basically head over heels for him. I feel that I am really not his type and that any kind of flirtation might be primarily based on keeping a good work relationship. He is basically very opposite from me and I feel he would be the type of person who would normally date shy-byes.
He has been asked out by a handful of other women at work over the years and has always turned them down; women who I may feel are better than I am. I'm worried that me making some sort of move will make him see me as one of the girls that were trying to ask him out.
Flirtation might be primarily based on keeping a good work relationship
The first thing you need to do has nothing to do with the men at work. You need to overcome your shyness. Three years is a very long time to be interested in someone that sits right next you.
It seems to me if you've known him this long; you should know whether or not he is available or willing to date you.
Some men do not date co-workers
You may feel that you are not his type and that he would prefer jock types, but you have no way of knowing that for sure. You don't know the reason he turned others down, and it is not important for you to know.
He may be a person who does not date co-workers - a lot of people are like that. But you don't know that for sure. If you don't get up the courage to ask, you'll never know.
Approaching a workmate - let him spend off time with you
Bottom line: You are absolutely right by feeling that if you take no action, you may one day lose the opportunity to date someone else. If you are comfortable enough to laugh and joke with him, then one day, simply ask if he's eaten yet, and if not, would he like to go grab a bite to eat.
Don't ask for an after-hours date, he will perceive that as a real date. If you ask on the company clock, and you are already perceived as friends, he may say yes. If he says no to a simple lunch, then I would not ask for an after-hours date. For more tips about asking a friend or coworker for a date, refer to e-books in series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
He has been asked out by a handful of other women at work over the years and has always turned them down; women who I may feel are better than I am. I'm worried that me making some sort of move will make him see me as one of the girls that were trying to ask him out.Flirtation might be primarily based on keeping a good work relationship
The first thing you need to do has nothing to do with the men at work. You need to overcome your shyness. Three years is a very long time to be interested in someone that sits right next you.
It seems to me if you've known him this long; you should know whether or not he is available or willing to date you.
Some men do not date co-workers
You may feel that you are not his type and that he would prefer jock types, but you have no way of knowing that for sure. You don't know the reason he turned others down, and it is not important for you to know.
He may be a person who does not date co-workers - a lot of people are like that. But you don't know that for sure. If you don't get up the courage to ask, you'll never know.Approaching a workmate - let him spend off time with you
Bottom line: You are absolutely right by feeling that if you take no action, you may one day lose the opportunity to date someone else. If you are comfortable enough to laugh and joke with him, then one day, simply ask if he's eaten yet, and if not, would he like to go grab a bite to eat.
Don't ask for an after-hours date, he will perceive that as a real date. If you ask on the company clock, and you are already perceived as friends, he may say yes. If he says no to a simple lunch, then I would not ask for an after-hours date. For more tips about asking a friend or coworker for a date, refer to e-books in series “ Relationships: Puzzles and Answers ” :
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